Baby Blues
by Tamysan
Summary: Haggar's Youth Potion, Prince Lotor, and the usual cast of VF regulars.what do you get? Hopefully some laughs! Take it with a grain of salt. Completed!
1. Baby Blues One

(All characters belong to World Events Productions and not to me. Rated S for silly!)

Baby Blues

One

It was a dark and stormy night….

Actually it was usually dark and stormy on Doom and well, it was usually night – or at least it was dark. At best it was partly cloudy. The one time that the sun actually came out, oh say about a century ago, everyone on Doom thought that the world was coming to an end or something like that.

Anyhosit, it was your usual day/night on Doom and the most happening place outside of the Bloodied Boar Bar and coffee shop was Castle Doom. Okay so it wasn't happening exactly. When you got a seven foot tall, thousand year old lizard/fish/way too icky king named Zarkon on the throne who likes to wear real fancy robes to hide that ol' middle age/old age pot spread at his mid-section, ain't nothin' much happening there. But hey, you take what you can get and for all purposes of this tale, stuff is happening.

What is happening you might ask? Oh the usual – Haggar the witch is cooking up a spell or three, Zarkon is yelling at Prince Lotor, who is as usual, daydreaming about his love, Princess Allura in scanty Victoria's Secret lingerie.

Yes, I guess that IS boring. Practically every Voltron story you read nowadays has this sort of thing happening. And too, the usual path of the story is that Lotor heads off to Arus with the robeast of the hour/day/week/episode to capture Princess Allura to make her his Queen so that they can both enjoy the conjugal pleasures of the flesh. Oh and yes, destroy Voltron. Then as usual, he gets his butt kicked – or rather the robeast gets kicked by Voltron, Lotor gets away, vowing he'd return, only to go back to Doom, get chewed out by dear old robe-wearing dad and then the vicious cycle starts anew.

Fah! A pox on thine counternance – oh skip it.

Now this story is different and it goes like this…er as I was about to say before I became distracted, dear reader. 

Okay, you got the usual stuff happening in the big throne room. Zarkon's like yelling – he has to because he's waaaay up there on that pedestal thingie where his throne sits. I suspect a need to 'compensate' for a lack of something don't you? Anyway, he's yelling, Lotor is kneeling down below with his head bent, fantasizing about Allura, whipped cream and handcuffs, when – 

"Sire!" Haggar came bounding into the immense throne room. 

Now, get this, Haggar don't bound usually. She's just 'there', okay? Fact is, never seen that woman – er – witch walk no place. But anyway, she bounded into the room, her crazy soulless eyes from hell gleaming with joy.

"What the hell do you want, old hag?" Zarkon sneered from way up high.

(You know that WEP edited Voltron to death, well, they cut out the language too. Zarkon has a potty mouth – oh and potty breath too, but that's 'cause he's not a believer in dental hygiene – or any kind of hygiene for that matter. As a youth he had cut 'Hygiene and You' class at the Academy but managed to get an 'A' when he threatened to yank the instructor's balls – out through the man's throat.  Yes we all know that that is an anatomical impossibility here, but Zarkon could be pretty believable back in them days.)

Oog. Where was I? Oh!

And I quote: "What the hell do you want, old hag?" Zarkon sneered from way up high.

"Sire! I've invented something that will help you immensely with your campaign to defeat Voltron and rule the galaxies!"  Haggar held up a flask full of green liquid triumphantly.

"Humph! What, old witch, another potion for a robeast perhaps? Oh, maybe it's something that Lotor can throw at Voltron – after he runs away of course!"

Lotor looked up at his detestable father. How could HE come from something THAT hideous? Surely he was adopted! 

"I resent that remark!" Lotor spat as he placed his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"That's only because it's true, you whelp! How did I ever get a son like you?"

"Probably forcing yourself on my mother.." Lotor grumbled.

"I heard that!" Zarkon bellowed. 

"Sire!" Haggar stamped her foot.

"What?" Zarkon glared at the witch. "I'm busy!"

"Not too busy to be – " Haggar paused. "Young again, sire?"

"Eh?" Zarkon placed his finger in his ear to get some of the accumulated wax out. With big ears like Zarkon, it's a hell of a lot of wax. There had evolved a secret candle industry that made candles out of Zarkon's discarded wax deposits, Doom Electricity being what it was. Zarkon didn't know about it of course. If he had, he would have asked for a cut of the proceeds.

"You know I've been able to extend your life due to my magic and the berries that we've collected from Arus, but youth has so far eluded our grasp."

"Youth..pah.." Zarkon shifted in his seat. Lotor felt a trickle of worry. His father – young? That didn't bode well for him!

"But sire! Think about it! You'll not only be young and virile again but you'll still have a thousand years of knowledge inside your head! You were able to carve out the Doom Empire and make it what it is today. Just think of what you can do if you were a young man again! The entire galaxy will be yours and Voltron won't stand a chance!"

"Hm.." This set Zarkon to thinking. He'd forgotten what it was like to be young, but the more he thought about it, the more tempting it sounded. He wouldn't need to have Lotor lead the fruitless campaigns against Arus – he could do it!  Why, he wouldn't have to worry about siring a heir for awhile – he'd have all the time in the world to do it since Haggar could still extend his life. And just think – why he'd be such a stud muffin, he'd have to beat women off with a stick!

(Yes, Zarkon was/is delusional about his looks. Always has, always will be.)

And Voltron – why with his wealth of knowledge and youth, he could defeat Voltron without any problem. Why he'd be unstoppable!  

An evil smile crossed Zarkon's thin lips as he regarded Haggar.

"Well done, witch. I'm glad I told you to mix that potion up.."

If Haggar had any eyeballs to roll upward, she would have. She came forward with a smile, glad her plan was working. It was indeed a youth potion that she had in her hand, but if Zarkon drank half and she drank half, they'd be a helluva lot younger and well – whoopee!!

Lotor stood up and glared at Zarkon. "Father, don't drink that! It's surely poison."

Zarkon snorted. "You're worried that if I drink this stuff, you'll be expendable – well you're right! Bring it up, Haggar..and it BETTER work or I'm finding a new witch!"

"What – EVER.." Haggar muttered. Why did she put up with his crap?  The witch made her way towards Zarkon's throne when quite suddenly Lotor grasped the witch's bony wrist – the one that had the vial of potion in it.

"Unhand me, Lotor, or I'll make you wish you were never born!" Haggar spat.

"Too late. Been there, done that.." Lotor said coolly. "You're NOT giving that to my father."

Zarkon looked down at the two, grinning. He loved a good fight. 

"Let GO!" Haggar jerked her wrist back but Lotor wouldn't let go.

"No!"  

Yank.

"Yes!" 

Yank.

"No!" 

Yank.

Finally Haggar had enough of Lotor and with surprising strength freed herself. Unfortunately her cat Coba who happened to do what cats do, and get underfoot, was behind her when she stepped back. The cat yowled in indignation as his tail was trod upon and Haggar's hand reflexively let go of the vial that contained the potion. The potion's trajectory was unfortunately headed for Lotor, who could not avoid it. The entire contents splashed on the hapless Crown Prince of Doom, and then quite suddenly – 

"Ohmygod.." Haggar's hands flew up to her face and then she started to curse. Zarkon scowled as he looked for Lotor. 

"Where's Lotor, old witch? You could have waited to zap him after I drank your potion."

"Sire.." Haggar seethed as she looked to where Lotor had been. "You'd better come down here."

"Dammit.." Zarkon stomped gracelessly down the stairs and finally made it to where Haggar was standing. Now that he had a better view, he saw that Lotor's uniform was there but no Lotor.

"What trickery is this, Haggar.." Zarkon poked at the pile of clothes.  Suddenly the clothes 'moved'. Zarkon jumped back quickly. "What the hell?"

"Goo!" A head – a small head poked out of the pile of clothes.  

"GAH!! What the hell is THAT!!" Zarkon exclaimed.

"It's a baby, Sire." Haggar crossed her arms as a sour look crossed her face.

Indeed it was a baby. A cute little Drule baby, his skin a light azure, and his cat's eyes round and golden like a kitten's would be. He had soft curls of white hair on his small well formed head, although there wasn't much of it. The baby sat there in the pile of clothes and looked up at the giants that towered over him and then proceeded to grab part of the uniform and chew on a sleeve.

"I know it's a damn baby! But – but what IS it?" Zarkon looked aghast.

"That, sire, is Lotor." 

Zarkon's eyes bugged out of his head, so shocked was he. Then he looked over at Haggar. "Change him back!"

"I can't, sire! The potion has taken affect. If I tamper with him in his present state, who knows what will happen?" Haggar gave the teething baby a hateful glare.

"Feh.." Zarkon grunted. "Pick up the brat. I want a closer look at the whelp." 

"Me?" Haggar exclaimed in horror.

"You're a woman..well sort of  - well you're female. Pick him up, I say!" Zarkon exclaimed. Haggar picked up Lotor and when she had him in her arms, the baby looked at her and promptly bopped her in the nose with his tiny fist.

"OW! You brat!" Haggar spat out. She forgot what a brat Lotor was when he was a baby.

"Ehehehehe! That's my boy!" Zarkon chortled as he peered at Lotor, who tugged at Haggar's cowl. Haggar struggled with him briefly, not wanting her hideous appearance revealed fully. Finally the witch had enough and shoved the infant practically into Zarkon's face.

"Here, you take him!" Haggar said. 

"Hey, now waitaminute! Why should I?" 

"You're his father, that's why!" Haggar watched as Zarkon's hands grasped the squirming naked infant at arms length from himself. Zarkon looked closely at the Drule infant.

'Hm, well he's got the equipment like his old man.." Zarkon nodded approvingly.

_~I don't think so!~_ Haggar thought to herself as she watched Zarkon bring Lotor a little bit closer to himself with a hint of amazement. Perhaps Zarkon was actually showing some fatherly attributes this time around? When Lotor was up against Zarkon's chest – Zarkon was still holding him a bit awkwardly – two things happened.

One, Lotor started screaming at the top of his lungs – which is what happened the first time around when he was an infant. 

And two, Lotor had a call of nature.

"GAH!!" Zarkon nearly threw Lotor from him as he saw just what was happening. As it was, the mad monarch held the squalling baby at arm's length once more and then set him down back in the uniform pile.

Zarkon cursed as he looked down at his royal robes. Now he remembered just WHY he hadn't had any more children.

"Damn brat! Even as a baby, he was annoying!" Zarkon muttered. "Get a nursemaid for the whelp!"

"But sire, if we do that, there are those in the palace that will find out that your son is vulnerable. We can't have that!" Haggar tried not to smirk, but Lotor peeing on Zarkon was priceless.

"It's your fault, YOU take care of it!" Zarkon groused as he stomped back to his chambers to get a fresh – okay, Zarkon-fresh – change of clothing.

Suddenly Haggar had a great idea. It would be something that would not only get Lotor out of the way for a while but also help with their problems with Arus. No one – especially that silly princess could resist a cute baby now could they? Haggar carefully picked up the now sniffling Lotor, uniform and all, and held him for a moment as she cackled evilly.

"Ooo gonna get us Arus-warus, aren't you, you oolite brat.." Haggar's bony finger tapped Lotor's little nose.

Lotor promptly bit Haggar's finger with his one lone tooth.

"OW! Why you little- !" Haggar scowled.

Lotor giggled.


	2. Baby Blues Two

 Chapter Two! All characters belong to World Events Productions and not to me. Rated S for Silly! - Enjoy!

Baby Blues 

Two

It was yet another sunny day on Arus – geez, doesn't it ever _rain_ on that planet? I mean how can a planet be so GREEN, eh? 

Ahem. As I was saying, it was yet another sunny day on Arus, the sky was blue, the grass was green and everyone was pretty happy.

All except for the four members of the Voltron Force who straggled in behind Keith towards the Castle of Lions. It was only 7:00 am in the morning but the VF had been up since the crack of dawn when Commander Keith dictated that it was time for their daily Lion practice. The only person on the entire team who was a morning person was Keith, and like the proverbial annoying morning person, he needed no coffee, cigarettes nor any other stimulants to jump start his motor in the morning. As a result he was always chipper and raring to go when it came to practice and would put his 'team' through their paces until all of them – including the usually fair minded Princess of Arus, wanted to cheerfully strangle him.

This morning was no exception.

"C'mon team! That's a way team! Great save, Lance! Princess you need to pull up a little more. Hunk, Pidge, great going guys! Princess, you need a little work on those landings.."

Keith was always on the princess about something, which annoyed her. She didn't faint anymore – okay maybe only when the g-forces from a death defying plummet got the best of her – and she was a really good pilot – at least all the others said so. But Keith always found fault with her, which majorly sucked. It really didn't always help Allura's mood being griped at by Keith only to come in for breakfast and be griped at by Nanny.

"Preencess, when are you going to settle down, get married to a prince? You're not getting any younger! Sit up straight! Eat! You're skin and bone! Go wear that pink dress that looks so dahling on you! Young princesses dun't need to go gallivanting around in a lion! Dat's why that nasty Lotor person is always after you!"

Bleah, it almost made her WANT to marry Lotor just to get away from that!

But Allura was essentially an optimistic princess who always looked at the positive and never the negative and she didn't want to cause trouble even if Keith had a major stick up his – well, where the sun don't shine! 

Well, back to our story here – our intrepid team was making their way back to the castle and they were staggering behind Keith, who was whistling a tune from 'Phantom of the Opera' when near the woods, they heard a cry. But it wasn't just any cry but a baby's cry.

They all stopped and looked in that direction where the cry came from and went to investigate. Keith had his service pistol out in case it was yet another insidious Doom trap. As they went a little ways into the dark forest, they saw a wicker basket. Allura knew exactly what it was, having read thousands upon thousands of fairy tales. Lance, Hunk and Pidge knew what it was too since they had seen their share of Looney Tunes cartoons to know that wicker baskets meant babies. 

"Watch out, team, this could be a trap.." Keith warned.

Nobody heard him, least of all Allura who had done what most women did when they saw a cute baby.

"Ohhhhhh!! Loook!!" She squealed, kneeling over the basket. The baby in question – Lotor, stopped crying and looked curiously at the golden haired princess. Suddenly he gurgled and smiled, raising his hands out of the blanket – a signal that he wanted to be held. 

"So cute!!!" Allura lifted up the obviously Drule baby in her arms and Lotor, knowing he had a good thing, cuddled up to her, cooing and trying to reach for the loose tendrils of her hair. 

"Princess! Put that kid down!" Keith examined, waving his pistol.

"Put that thing away, Keith!" Lance glared at his commander. "You'll hurt somebody with that! It's just a baby that someone abandoned."

"He's kinda cute!" Pidge said with a grin. "Definitely a boy.."

"Yeah!" Hunk started making goofy faces at the tiny Lotor. He cooed and giggled. Allura laughed, charmed by him already.

Keith was still wary however, so Allura brought Lotor over to him. "See, Keith, he's just a baby! Hold him!" She practically put the baby in Keith's arms and for a moment Keith and Lotor locked eyes with each other and – 

"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"OW! Why you little - !" Keith exclaimed as he rubbed his nose! Lotor had quite effectively bopped him one.

"Keith!" Allura scolded as she took the baby away from him. "How dare you scare the baby!"

Pidge, who had been examining the basket as to some clues – yes he watched Scooby Doo as a youngster – found a note which he read out loud.

"Please take care of my baby." 

"Well that's informative." Lance smirked.

"Hey are we gonna get some grub or what?" Hunk asked as his stomach made it's presence known. "Bet that kid's hungry."

"Yes, we better go." Allura nodded and without another word headed for the castle with a contented Lotor against her shoulder. Hunk obligingly took up the basket and the rest of the team followed her, all except for Keith.

"Dammit! Wait! Wait for your leader!" He jogged up to the others and passed them so intent was he to catch up with them.

**

Okay, cue into breakfast – everyone's been oohing and ahhing about the baby, the guys are eating, Keith is sulking and Allura is casting adoring glances at the baby while she feeds him some puree that Nanny had cooked up. Lotor is pretty happy at the moment because he's got good food, a clean nappie and a pretty lady with golden hair attending to his needs. Actually this isn't much different than how he lived when he was grown up, except for the nappie part – Zarkon was actually the one ordering those 'Depends' underpants by the gross – but that's another story entirely.

As I said, everyone is pretty much happy except for Keith, who is sulking. They didn't have their obligatory team meeting after their practice which certainly wasn't good – not good at all. Who knew when Lotor would attack again? Having nothing better to do, Keith went scrounging into the basket, where he found something that was mixed in with the blanket that had covered the baby. He fished it out, shook it out and saw – Lotor's uniform top!

"AHA! Keith exclaimed.

Nobody heard him so he cleared his throat.

"AHA!"

The second time around it did catch everyone's attention but that was only because he had jumped on the table and did so, mashing one of his white go-go boots into the eggs and the other into the flapjacks. As Hunk was in mid-strike to spear the flapjacks, his two tined fork that he bought at a travelling Renaissance Faire speared into Keith's boot.

"EEEYOOOWWWW!!" Keith felt the pain and throwing up the uniform top into the air, hopped up and down on one foot. Hunk was rather annoyed as Keith still had his fork and HE had no flapjacks. The uniform top fell right on Allura's head and baby Lotor giggled, thinking that the pretty lady was playing peek-a-boo with him.

"What's this?" Allura plucked the uniform off her head as Nanny and Coran looked on in startlement – as if a Voltron pilot hopping up and down on the breakfast wasn't surprising enough. However, the two elders had taken their requisite medication and were somewhat mellowed this morning, although Coran **had** slipped a Viagra in earlier with his hot tea. We don't want to know WHY he took it, so we'll just leave it at that. 

Anywhosit, Keith is hopping up and down – 

"Amuro Rey of Gundam gets more RESPECT than **I** do!!" Keith howled indignantly.

"He doesn't wear white go-go boots tho.." Lance gave Keith a glance.

"Yeah but didja ever look at that Red Comet dude with the mask? DO – RKY!" Pidge said. 

"Er – Pidge, no offense but ah.." Lance was actually kind of a diplomat.

"Hey I wear these stupid fringe thingies on my uniform like a demented short Daniel Boone, plus they're GREEN, and I wear glasses! I gotta pick on SOMEBODY!" Pidge stamped his foot.

Hunk finally got his fork when it fell off Keith's boots and proceeded to inhale the flapjacks..

Now, back to Allura with the uniform top. She shook it out and saw that it indeed looked familiar. After all she had fantasized about pulling it off Lotor millions of – 

Ooops..er – forget I said that. I wasn't supposed to tell!

Anyway, she had seen Lotor wear it a thousand times or more. Seeing the uniform made her come to the logical conclusion which was – 

"Why that – that – scoundrel!" Allura fumed. "Abandoning his own child! The poor mother! _~And why couldn't it have been ME? That two-timing so-and-so!~ _Allura inwardly fumed, slight jealous that Lotor fooled around with some other woman and produced this cute adorable baby.

Lotor gurgled and waved his little arms about, of course not being able to vocalize that he was the culprit in question.

"Well, since he's abandoned this baby I'm keeping him!" Allura folded the uniform top and set it to the side for the present. 

This galvanized Nanny, who was always on the look out for princess do's and don'ts.

"You can't keep that child, Preencess. What will people think?"

"I don't care!" Allura stuck her chin up in that 'I'm a princess' way.

"He sure looks like Lotor though." Lance chucked Lotor under the chin.

"I don't care!" Allura said.

"You can't! It'll ruin your prospects for marrying!" Nanny exclaimed.

Coran quickly excused himself from the conversation at hand.

"I don't care!" Allura lifted up Lotor out of what was her old high chair. Keith, by this time had come down from the table and looked over at Allura and Lotor as if they were contaminated.

"I still say it's a Doom trick." Keith said. "If that's Lotor's baby, then he'll come after it."

"I don't care!" Allura smiled up at Lotor, who cooed happily. He liked the pretty lady who smelled so nice and talked so soft. Abruptly Keith took Lotor out of her arms.

"Hey!" Allura exclaimed. "Keith, don't you dare hurt him!"

"I'm not going to hurt him, Princess. Just making sure he's – "

"BRRRURRRP!"

"Aw geez!" Keith looked down at the very vivid spit up on his RED jumpsuit.

Lotor giggled.

"Uh!" Allura took Lotor away from Keith. "See what you did?"

"What I did?" Keith yelled. "He upchucked on my jumpsuit!"

The other VF members tried not to giggle. Nanny rushed over with a wet cloth to clean up Keith's jumpsuit. For some reason she was taking suspiciously too long in doing so, lingering over parts which hadn't even been besmirched by Drulean spit up.

**

Okay, some time passes – whatcha think this is, War and Peace? Any way, time passes, and everyone in the Castle gets used to baby Lotor who the princess named 'Lotie' much to Keith's consternation. Why not Chuck or Charles or Keith or Kevin or something like that? But noooo, it had to be Lotie. Urgh!

Meanwhile back on Doom, Zarkon was actually missing Lotor because he didn't have anyone fun to yell at besides Cossack who was as stupid as a brick. Finally one day he called Haggar in and demanded, "Where's Lotor? Bring him here! Is he grown yet?"

"He's on Arus!" Haggar volunteered. 

"What? Why did you send him there, old hag?"

Haggar shrugged. "I figured the silly princess and her friends could take care of the brat until the potion wears off, which should be about -  " She whipped out her watch which told the correct time on Doom, Arus and in Paraquay. 

"Now."

**

Back on Arus, Allura woke up to the sound of Lotie crying. Stumbling up, half asleep, she went to tend to him, already used to the chore. She wouldn't let anyone else tend to him – especially Nanny. After she cleaned him up and changed his diaper. Lotor raised his hands to be lifted up. Allura sighed, carried him to bed with her and went back to sleep. Little Lotie was already used to sleeping in Allura's bed, so he got to where he always wanted to be with her, instead of his crib.

Hours pass and just about at the same time Haggar on Doom said, "Now." Lotor transformed back from a baby to a full grown man – with a diaper. Now then about this time, a rap on Allura's door signaled that it was time for the princess to wake up. Any moment now, Nanny would come bustling through the door. Allura stretched and yawned, not noticing that her well endowed chest hit something very solid. The object in question, Lotor's manly chest, forwarded the sensation to his brain, which told him that this was indeed a woman, and so he did what a man would naturally do when encountering such delights. His hands reached up and gave them a squeeze!

Blink. Blink. Allura's eyes flew open at the unfamiliar yet somewhat appealing feeling! She looked down and saw two hands – two BLUE hands right smack dab on the mountain range as if they belonged there. In her shock, she looked up numbly and there she saw a sleeping Lotor, a goofy smile on his face. He was thinking that he was dreaming again about his princess not realizing that he actually held the real thing!

Two things happened – 

One – Allura screamed. 

Two – Lotor opened his eyes, saw just WHERE he was at, WHO he was holding, and WHAT he was holding on to! He suffered a little by quickly drawing back his hand and clamping it over the princess' mouth before she could induce any more damage. The other, happily enough was still on the mountain, not looking to be dislodged anytime soon.

Wow! Lotor thought. The ultimate fantasy! Allura in bed with him!

Only thing was – 

WHY IN THE HELL WAS HE IN A DIAPER!


	3. Baby Blues Three

(All characters belong to World Events Productions and not to me. Rated S for silly!)

Baby Blues 

Three

Okay, so you're probably thinking, heeey waitaminute, how can a full grown Lotor have a diaper on when the baby Lotor didn't fit into his uniform when he changed? Yeah, I know, it's a plothole as big as the national deficit, but dammit, it's kinda funny don't you think?

Back to the matter at hand – Lotor's in Allura's bed, trying to keep his dream woman from screaming her lungs out, all the while coping a good feel and trying to figure out how the hell did he get into a diaper of all things!

Knock..knock..knock.. "Preeecess, it's time for you and that darlink baby to get up!!"

_~Oh sonofabitch!~_ Lotor thought with alarm. In a falsetto voice he replied, "Just a few minutes, er – ah.." What the hell did they call her? 

It didn't matter because evidently Nanny bought it. "Five meenutes Preencess!" And Lotor heard her stomp off with relief. Whew! 

Lotor brought his gaze to the Princess, who still was wide-eyed with shock.

"Promise you won't scream and I'll move my hands." Lotor whispered.

Allura nodded mutely. She needed to know what happened to Lotie! Surely this fiend of a father took him! Oh the poor baby!

Lotor removed his hand from her mouth and moved it BACK up to where he had it on her chest! Allura looked quite indignant.

"You said you'd move your hands!" 

"I didn't say WHERE." Lotor grinned. "Now could you please tell me what I'm doing in a – a – er – " Suddenly he was embarrassed. I mean when you're the Prince of Doom you got a rep to maintain. Diaper wearing does not a studly reputation make.

"Where's Lotie, you monster!" Allura, despite the handholds Lotor had on her chest started to hit him.

"Lotie?" Lotor frowned. "What in the world are you - ?"

Allura swooped the covers off of the bed and exclaimed. "The baby! Your – Oh!!" It then that she saw the diaper on Lotor.

"A – ha." Allura's lips curved into a smile. "A – a – a haha..hahahahaha.." She giggled, trying not to laugh but then she suddenly lost it.

"EEEEEE!!Hahahahahahahaha!" 

"That's NOT funny!" Lotor turned a beet red – er – beet blue – well the darkest blue you can get. He leaped out of bed angrily and stripped off the pristine diaper, forgetting for the moment that there was a female in the room.

Allura's eyes grew big as she suddenly quit laughing. She never imagined he'd look THAT good in her fantasies! He beat the three dimensional anatomy book all to heck! Hey now wait..Lotor wearing a diaper..was LOTOR the baby all along? Hey, stereotypes aside, Ally was a smart blonde!

Meanwhile, Lotor was pacing the floor, muttering to himself about the weirdness of women and life in general. One moment he had been with Haggar and his father and the next he's on Arus wearing a friggin' diaper and the woman that he loved was laughing at him! Gods, he'd rather be slapped by her any day than this! He was quite sure that this was all a trick that Haggar had played on him.

"You're Lotie!" Allura suddenly tackled him with a resounding hug.

"Wha - ?" Lotor was surprised but rose to the occasion – not THAT – okay yeah that but um – not right away. What I mean is, Lotor is a pretty flexible dude and – no, that THAT way, uh well yeah but – oh skip it!

Suffice it to say that after much explanation and much kissing, Lotor and Allura figured everything out and decided that perhaps a truce between Arus and Doom was in order. We'll skip over the fact that Nanny caught the pair negotiating peace without benefit of pen or paper although we all know that Lotor's 'sword' is a lot mightier than any ol' pen – get my meaning? She fainted dead away, had to be carried to the infirmary and recovered just in time to hear of their engagement six months later. Why it took six months for her to recover, it's not sure but we do know that Keithy was trying to get his merit badge from Galaxy Garrison Eagle Scout troop 11764 in nursing, so that might have been Nanny's way of helping the poor boy out.

And well, since this is a light hearted tale, Allura and Lotor eventually got married – after LOTS of practice – ahem – and about a year or so later had a little baby – a boy who looked a heck of a lot like Lotor. Keith wasn't too thrilled about the whole thing, but being a good sport and all around team guy, accepted the union and the new baby, who upchucked and screamed every time the illfortuned captain came near him. The other VF members he could tolerate, but for some reason, the little mite, who Allura and Lotor called 'Lotie' had a bad reaction to red jumpsuits and white go-go boots.

Back on Doom – Zarkon heard about all the broohaha – is that a word? Anyway he heard about all the muck-a-muck and at first rejoiced because he figured Arus and thus Voltron was all his at last. But it didn't work out that way, so the old boy disowned Lotor and thundered and farted about as he normally did. Haggar, in the meantime did her thing and went about creating a new youth potion. Some months down the line, she was at last successful, and both she and Zarkon got a good quaff of the youth potion. However there was an adverse side effect – at least in Zarkon. Oh he was young all right but - 

"I've GOT BOOBS!!" The King of Doom shrieked.

Haggar looked at herself. She was young but still wrinkly and -

"I don't HAVE any BOOBS!" The witch wailed. She was still flatter than Kansas.

Cossack, who happened to be in the throne room at the time, was as dumb as brick, might have been dumb, but he definitely knew what he liked.

"Oh SIRE!!!" Cossack gushed, fluttering his lashes. "Let me touch the royal mountain range!"

"EEEEYAAA! Keep away!! HAGGAR! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Zarkon was shrieking as he broke into a stumbling run down the hallway after Haggar, who was running for her witchy life! Cossack, who was dumb as a brick, yet as fleet as gazelle, chased after his Zarkon-ette.

And so everyone lived happily ever after!

End


End file.
